Showing posts from November, 2018

Our story

My story Tomorrow is my youngest sons second birthday, he’s not with us. I bought him a present, just a small push along toy; I put it in the Christmas gift appeal box at the leisure centre. My husband has taken the afternoon off work tomorrow so we can go out for Finn’s birthday lunch; we’ll not be lighting candles. 11 weeks from now will be the second anniversary of Finn’s death. Writing that has made me cry again but I’m happy, I know it sounds crazy but I really am. I can’t begin to put into words, and even if I could I wouldn’t want to, the pain I feel every day and every night over losing Finn. There’s a deep unnatural sadness in me that will never go away, some days it’s sharper than others but it’s always there. The most important thing is that I’ve realised that happy and sad aren’t opposites, they can co-exist, and they do . I’m writing in a rare free moment when Finn’s amazing, kind and intelligent older brother Rory (3 going on 40) is at nursey, and my bea